This question is usually answered with a fast “Yes” or “No,” or a long period of hard thinking about “Am I” or “Am I not?”
Either way, there is an important point missed:
If answered real fast without thinking or feeling – no matter if it is a yes or no – your commitment to choosing, practicing, and being happiness is very loose. The point here, is that you are missing out.
If you are thinking hard and long about your answer, you create loads of expectations about how happiness has to BE—and if your happiness does not match those expectations, you create resistance: A state that is far from being happy.
Let me explain…
If I would ask you “Are you a physical body?” You would automatically and consciously become aware of – and feel – your physical body. You would laugh and say, “Of course, can’t you see?” That is because there is no doubt in your belief that you ARE a physical body – besides being a mind, soul, and consciousness – experiencing your physical life through this body.
You would never get up in the morning and search for your physical body. You would never think “Am I or am I not a body?” because you know and believe that as long as you are experiencing this physical life, you and your body are one and the same. You ARE a body.
That is the same with happiness…
You ARE happiness and happiness IS you! You two are never separate—but always ONE.
Happiness is not something you do, think, or search for—it is something that you already ARE and can feel and experience. Happiness is present in every cell of yours – and in every cell of the universe and beyond – and is always with you and in you. It is given to you – just like your physical body – as a part of the package deal for you to experience this physical life right now.
All you have to do…
Is start believing that you ARE happiness – the same way you believe that you are a physical body – and then make it your normal way of being.
Believe that you ARE happiness!
Commit to being happiness!
Choose to feel happy anew and anew!
Practice happiness again and again!
Then BE and live it—just like you ARE and live your physical body!
The result, is that reaching the state of being happy loses any pressure or resistance there is. The search for happiness – especially when searched for on the outside – can end. The stress to reach happiness is non-existent.
Everyone can simply just BE what they already are. Happiness.
So, I want to ask you, “Are you happy?”
I bet your answer will be very different.
That IS happiness! The value of this article is in support of my best-selling book 365 Days of Happiness. Available on amazon and FreakyHealer
Parents spending time with their children, everyone playing and laughing is a wonderful sight to imagine, to witness, and to be in.
Parents spending time with their children, everyone is unhappy, feels not heard, disrespected, not valued, or not loved–a sight that is very familiar for any parent and if you could ask the children, they would all say “yep, been there, done that.”
This can be really testing – for both the parents and the children – but who I really want to reach here is the parents because I firmly stand with the belief that it is never the child.
When you are a parent that is interacting with a rebellious child (no matter the age) it means that your child is standing firmly with their own mindset, personal preferences, and unique ways to do things while you are standing firm ground with your ways. Many times it ends in disagreement, tears, and hurt hearts, while seeming impossible to find common ground–yet there are unlimited hidden gifts, especially for the parents, in such a high and intense energetic situation.
“Gifts?” You might say.
Yes gifts! Not the ones you get for Christmas or your special birthday. Even bigger and more infinite gifts! Presents that will last you a lifetime if you consciously open up to accept and receive them.
Any rebellion from a child is the purest gift, because it shows you very clearly and with no remorse that you are overstepping their soul-being by wanting them to do something that is not fitting for them. If it would be the right thing for them they would happily do it! Their act of rebelling turns into your phenomenal opportunity to turn inward, take responsibility, re-evaluate your ways, your preferences, your mindset, and how you feel about it all. It is a chance for you to modernize yourself into a more fitting you.
Sure, there is the thought of keeping them safe – for instance when crossing a street – and that is where you take over and keep them safe.
But most of the time it is not about keeping them safe, rather it is about the parents being used to doing something a certain way without ever questioning or remodeling to new ways. Many times it’s also about parents wanting to be right, so they are telling the children how it has to be done. And sometimes it’s because adults think that children are helpless and need to be helped–parents are better and know better.
Those are the situations that I am talking about, when remembering that your children are very intelligent soul beings, here in this physical life with an always available and very smart soul guidance, and their own important soul pathway to live, offers every parent a gracious gift. I say receive and run with it–by turning inward and leaving them be, by meeting them in the middle, or by simply just trusting in your children’s ways.
Lets talk about the gift of turning inward, because let’s face it, we all love gifts!
The trick is that in order to find these gifts and turn them into the best thing that ever happened for both, you and your children, you as the parent must understand and acknowledge that every child is a truth mirror for the parent–showing you what is going on in you. You must be willing to take full responsibility of unlocking this incredible gift that is offered to you by your stubborn child through turning inward and searching in you – and only in you – for what this truth holds for you. Questions like, “What is this showing me?” or “How do I feel about this and why do I feel about it this way?” are worth gold here.
Your children never make you feel a certain way, instead all your feelings are already in you–your child simply helps dig them up because you are ready for them, so claim your own feelings, they are yours to feel and heal.
Just as happy feelings are dug up by your children when you watch them play and laugh, unhappy feelings are dug up by interacting with them too. Given, happy feelings are easier to latch onto, feel, and enjoy. By understanding that unhappy feelings bear great gifts for you, it only makes sense to recognize, feel, and enjoy the full joy of them too–truth unveiling and healing accomplished. From that space of positivity – your heart and soul space – you can meet your child wherever they are. If they already are in their heart and soul space, you are matching up to meet them in the best place ever. If they are not in their heart and soul space, you are giving them the chance to arrive there too. Either way, it’s a win win.
Here are some ground rules and a game-plan to interact with your children from different stages that you could find yourself in:
A rebellious child has gifts for you to accept and receive. There is great healing for you in difficult situations with your children. Take full responsibility of your feelings. Get your soul being into your happy place before facing your children. Be generous with your love, spread it plentifully to your children. Smile and laugh often and choose to have fun over anything else.
When you are already in your happy place, go for it, interact with your children and know that you are co-creating magic with them that will show itself as more magic, endless laughter, and loads of fun.
When you are only partly in your happy place, take a minute to close your eyes and feel your energetic essence of your pure positive energy through a short meditation, feeling into your breath, taking a walk, lifting some weights or other well-feeling exercises, drink some water, eat because being hangry never helps, listen to music, or simply smile and feel yourself heightening in your frequency–then interact with your children. The outcome will be satisfying, no matter the subject of discussion.
When you are far off your happy place and can’t even feel or attempt to believe in your magical well-feeling space, it is best to change the timing for solving anything to when things are better for you. Nothing good comes out of a parent who is not in a good place, wanting to sort anything out with a child, because your very supportive child will rebel to show you how far off your soul path you are–because that is how much they love you.
That IS Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops! The most harmonious way to parent.
To read more get your own personal copy of the book Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops on amazon as paperback or e-book on my site as paperback
Oh you bet your bottom that I am dancing like a star right now!!! 🙂
★★★★★ Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops by Jacqueline Pirtle is the go-to primer for expectant, struggling, or just plain curious parents. Pirtle uses her experience as a mother and holistic practitioner to distill her key takeaways for developing a healthy, nourishing relationship with your children.
At the heart are her Three Pillars: The Harmonious Dance, It Is Never the Child, and The Love Cycle of Parenthood. To give just a taste of these teachings, the first pillar—The Harmonious Dance—describes the natural give-and-take relationship between parents and their children, where the role of teacher and student is meant to switch constantly as children grow up. When parents fall too heavily into teacher mode, The Harmonious Dance becomes unbalanced.
Through the synergy of these three pillars, Pirtle takes readers on a journey from pre-conception all the way to adulthood, checking in with parents at each stage of growth and describing the unique challenges—and joys!—that accompany each one.
Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops is an optimistic manual for any parent who needs to be reminded of how special their job really is.
Pirtle’s perspective on parenthood is truly unique—and refreshing. She believes that the healthiest families blossom where equality is encouraged. Forgetting to respect our children enough, or putting too much pressure on them because parents know what is right, is exactly the wrong way to raise young adults. And, while this message might be tough for some parents to hear, it could be exactly what they need to hear.
For readers who are interested in engaging with more of Pirtle’s teachings, they are encouraged to pick up a copy of 365 Days of Happiness, which is a guide to cultivating true happiness in one’s life. Though less specific to parenthood, this brilliant book carries its own share of great life lessons.
…I will admit that I was kind of skeptical going in as it seemed like the more I read, the more her ideology was in contrast to how I was raised and what I feel is the right way of parenting- that I am the parent and my kids are kids and must listen and follow my lead. Pirtle argues that children and their parents are equals in this life of parenting and there are times that one is the student and one is the teacher and vice-versa. It is a harmonious dance in which the child and parent are equal participants.
…Pirtle offers 3 pillars of beliefs that summarize her parenting advice–The Harmonious Dance, It is Never the Child, and The Love Cycle of Parenthood. The pillars offer joyful, energized ways to be a better parent and a better participant in whatever level of parenthood you are in (including before you conceive, when your child is a baby, young child, teenager and adult). They remind you to enjoy the role of being a parent to your greatest blessings.
…I personally needed that particular reminder and I picked up several tidbits that I believe will help me in my parenting journey with the kiddos. Ideologies that will hopefully help bring back my joy as a mom and allow me to have a better relationship with my children.
…It’s not often I get time to sit down and read nowadays. Making time to sit and read Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops by Jacqueline Pirtle has been pretty life-changing – you might think that’s a bit of a bold statement but it really has been!
…When I began reading Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops by Jacqueline Pirtle, I was mildly sceptical about how this book would be. I assumed it was a “perfect parenting” “you must do this to have happy children” type of books – boy was I wrong.
…I feel that reading Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops has truly helped me to become the best parent I can be. It’s made me realise how my own childhood had blurred the way I was parenting my own children too. By following the three pillars outlined in the book, you will be taken on a different and probably more enjoyable journey through parenting from day one – although you can totally pick up this book at any point of your parenting journey too as it covers all stages of a child’s life. Thanks Mama Home Life for your honest insight!