Do you ever feel you have to shift yourself into a certain way of being or behaving in order to do something? For instance, you need to become still in order to meditate. You need absolute quiet to write or read something. Or you need a certain mindset to be able to do your work or talk to someone?
Do you also feel exhausted, stressed, or even nervous, because of this shift needing to take place? You might even ask yourself, “What if this shift is not happening, then what?
Relax! The only shift you will ever need, is your shift to BE and live in your heart.
Because when you ARE in your heart, you are automatically aligned with who you really are and with what is right and fitting for you. There, your connection to your teammates (your body, mind, soul, and consciousness) is strong and clear. Your wisdom can flow, and the support of the universe can reach you. You can simply be and do everything as your natural limitless you. No exhaustion, no stress, and no nervousness.
Plus! Don’t forget you are never doing anything alone. Ever! You are always co-creating with your body, mind, soul, consciousness, and the universe. So, lean on them.
The easiest way to arrive in your heart is to take a few minutes, close your eyes, and focus on – and feel – your beautiful breathing. Or practice anything that touches your heart with an “aww…” feeling; listening to beautiful music, touching a furry friend, hugging or kissing a loved one, smelling a flower, or indulging into a delicious treat.
Once there, you will naturally be in the perfect energy and behavior you need—to do anything.
Just think about it:
BE and live in your heart! It’s the perfect place.
You can meditate from your heart while walking without even needing to be still.
You can write from your heart without even thinking.
You can work from your heart without being exhausted and nervous.
You can talk to others from your heart with staying true to yourself.
Parents spending time with their children, everyone playing and laughing is a wonderful sight to imagine, to witness, and to be in.
Parents spending time with their children, everyone is unhappy, feels not heard, disrespected, not valued, or not loved–a sight that is very familiar for any parent and if you could ask the children, they would all say “yep, been there, done that.”
This can be really testing – for both the parents and the children – but who I really want to reach here is the parents because I firmly stand with the belief that it is never the child.
When you are a parent that is interacting with a rebellious child (no matter the age) it means that your child is standing firmly with their own mindset, personal preferences, and unique ways to do things while you are standing firm ground with your ways. Many times it ends in disagreement, tears, and hurt hearts, while seeming impossible to find common ground–yet there are unlimited hidden gifts, especially for the parents, in such a high and intense energetic situation.
“Gifts?” You might say.
Yes gifts! Not the ones you get for Christmas or your special birthday. Even bigger and more infinite gifts! Presents that will last you a lifetime if you consciously open up to accept and receive them.
Any rebellion from a child is the purest gift, because it shows you very clearly and with no remorse that you are overstepping their soul-being by wanting them to do something that is not fitting for them. If it would be the right thing for them they would happily do it! Their act of rebelling turns into your phenomenal opportunity to turn inward, take responsibility, re-evaluate your ways, your preferences, your mindset, and how you feel about it all. It is a chance for you to modernize yourself into a more fitting you.
Sure, there is the thought of keeping them safe – for instance when crossing a street – and that is where you take over and keep them safe.
But most of the time it is not about keeping them safe, rather it is about the parents being used to doing something a certain way without ever questioning or remodeling to new ways. Many times it’s also about parents wanting to be right, so they are telling the children how it has to be done. And sometimes it’s because adults think that children are helpless and need to be helped–parents are better and know better.
Those are the situations that I am talking about, when remembering that your children are very intelligent soul beings, here in this physical life with an always available and very smart soul guidance, and their own important soul pathway to live, offers every parent a gracious gift. I say receive and run with it–by turning inward and leaving them be, by meeting them in the middle, or by simply just trusting in your children’s ways.
Lets talk about the gift of turning inward, because let’s face it, we all love gifts!
The trick is that in order to find these gifts and turn them into the best thing that ever happened for both, you and your children, you as the parent must understand and acknowledge that every child is a truth mirror for the parent–showing you what is going on in you. You must be willing to take full responsibility of unlocking this incredible gift that is offered to you by your stubborn child through turning inward and searching in you – and only in you – for what this truth holds for you. Questions like, “What is this showing me?” or “How do I feel about this and why do I feel about it this way?” are worth gold here.
Your children never make you feel a certain way, instead all your feelings are already in you–your child simply helps dig them up because you are ready for them, so claim your own feelings, they are yours to feel and heal.
Just as happy feelings are dug up by your children when you watch them play and laugh, unhappy feelings are dug up by interacting with them too. Given, happy feelings are easier to latch onto, feel, and enjoy. By understanding that unhappy feelings bear great gifts for you, it only makes sense to recognize, feel, and enjoy the full joy of them too–truth unveiling and healing accomplished. From that space of positivity – your heart and soul space – you can meet your child wherever they are. If they already are in their heart and soul space, you are matching up to meet them in the best place ever. If they are not in their heart and soul space, you are giving them the chance to arrive there too. Either way, it’s a win win.
Here are some ground rules and a game-plan to interact with your children from different stages that you could find yourself in:
A rebellious child has gifts for you to accept and receive. There is great healing for you in difficult situations with your children. Take full responsibility of your feelings. Get your soul being into your happy place before facing your children. Be generous with your love, spread it plentifully to your children. Smile and laugh often and choose to have fun over anything else.
When you are already in your happy place, go for it, interact with your children and know that you are co-creating magic with them that will show itself as more magic, endless laughter, and loads of fun.
When you are only partly in your happy place, take a minute to close your eyes and feel your energetic essence of your pure positive energy through a short meditation, feeling into your breath, taking a walk, lifting some weights or other well-feeling exercises, drink some water, eat because being hangry never helps, listen to music, or simply smile and feel yourself heightening in your frequency–then interact with your children. The outcome will be satisfying, no matter the subject of discussion.
When you are far off your happy place and can’t even feel or attempt to believe in your magical well-feeling space, it is best to change the timing for solving anything to when things are better for you. Nothing good comes out of a parent who is not in a good place, wanting to sort anything out with a child, because your very supportive child will rebel to show you how far off your soul path you are–because that is how much they love you.
That IS Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops! The most harmonious way to parent.
To read more get your own personal copy of the book Parenting Through the Eyes of Lollipops on amazon as paperback or e-book on my site as paperback
In 365 Days of Happiness, bestselling author, holistic practitioner, and mindfulness teacher Jacqueline Pirtle has created daily inspirations that help you mindfully work towards living a more vivid experience of daily happiness. Showing that you can put in work to change your life while having fun, the practices are full of whimsy and delight.
“In conclusion, Jacqueline Pirtle takes you on an experience like no other when parenting your children or grandchildren. You will dig deeper into the meaning of parenting and be able to enjoy parenting more by just following her three pillars. It is one of the utmost best books I have read in 2019 so much that I have read it 3 times before writing this.” ~ The Irish Twins Momma
…I wish I had a book like this when I first became and Mom and was kind of unsure of what to do. This book encourages parents to give their children the space to be themselves in a safe and loving environment.
…Something that really stuck out to me was the mention of stillness and how to deal with it especially during the tween years.
…Jacqueline talks a lot about energy in this book. She encourages feeling good and happy before you speak, hear and think about your children by making well-feeling a priority.
…Parenting Through The Eyes Of Lollipops is a great book to read no matter what stage of parenting you are on.